purpose

Today was a really really bad day. I cried a lot. I have had these plans in my head for quite a while now of a future job and it solved all my problems of getting out of this negative non-christian environment where I work, I could have kids and bring them to work with me and would love my job. Well all these plans crumbled down around me today. It turns out someone else already had the same idea and I was too late. The ones who had the idea already were close friends of mine and I sort of feel hurt about it because it was kept from me. It was not intentional but I'm just crushed. I would like to elaborate but I can't just yet. I will soon once it's set in stone.

What is my purpose in life? That is the question of the day. I know that if I delight myself in the Lord, he will give me the desires of my heart. I felt like I knew the desires of my heart but they weren't given to me. I must not be delighting myself in the Lord the way I should be. Let me just say that last night in bible study someone mentioned that a lot of people who claim to be christians have never read the bible cover to cover. I felt like I was sinking down in my seat. I have never just read the bible all the way through. I just read different stories here and there as I study them in church, bible study or life group. I feel so terrible that I haven't. I need to make that a goal.

Tonight is the vice presidential debate and the office won't be on because of it...grrr!